Building Your Recovery Toolkit: Essential Skills for Overcoming Behavioural Addictions

Recognising that you have a problem with a behavioural addiction is a courageous and life-changing first step. But what comes next? Recovery is not simply about "white-knuckling" your way through cravings; it's about actively learning and practising new skills to manage your mind, your emotions, and your choices. It's about building a practical "recovery toolkit."

Just like a tradesperson wouldn't show up to a job without their tools, you can struggle unnecessarily to approach recovery without practical psychological skills. These are the tools that will help you dismantle old habits and build a new, more fulfilling life.

At Shaw Psychology, our Melbourne clinical psychologists are dedicated to empowering our clients with these evidence-based skills. This guide, drawing from addiction recovery workbooks, will introduce you to three of the most essential tools for your kit.

Recovery is a journey, and like any journey, it requires preparing the right tools to navigate the challenges ahead.

Tool #1: Urge Surfing (Riding the Wave of Craving)

When an urge or craving hits, the instinct is often to either fight it desperately or give in immediately. "Urge Surfing" offers a third option. It's a mindfulness technique that teaches you to observe your craving as a temporary wave of sensation that will rise, peak, and eventually pass on its own if you don't feed it.

How to Do It:

1. Notice the Urge: When the craving begins, pause and acknowledge it without judgment. Say to yourself, "An urge is here."

2. Focus on Your Breath: Take a few slow, deep breaths. This anchors you in the present moment.

3. Observe the Physical Sensations: Scan your body and notice where you feel the urge. Is it a tightness in your chest? A restlessness in your hands? A thought in your mind? Just observe these sensations as if you were a curious scientist, without needing to act on them.

4. Ride the Wave: Imagine the urge as a wave in the ocean. Watch it build, see it crest, and trust that it will eventually subside. You don't have to be swept away by it. Each time you "surf" successfully, it weakens its power and strengthens your self-control.

Tool #2: Challenging "Permissive Thoughts"

"Permissive thoughts" are the sneaky justifications your mind creates to give you permission to relapse. They are the cognitive distortions that pave the way back to the old behaviour.

Common Permissive Thoughts:

• "Just one more time won't hurt."

• "I've had such a stressful day, I deserve this."

• "I've already blown it, so I may as well keep going."

• "I'll start fresh tomorrow."

How to Challenge Them:

1. Catch the Thought: Recognise the thought as soon as it appears.

2. Label It: Call it what it is: "That's a permissive thought" or "That's my addiction talking."

3. Play the Tape Through: Instead of stopping at the thought of initial relief, play the tape all the way to the end. What really happens after you give in? Remind yourself of the feelings of shame, guilt, and regret that inevitably follow.

4. Create a Coping Card: Write down your most common permissive thoughts on one side of a card, and your rational, recovery-focused challenges on the other. Keep it in your wallet and read it when an urge hits.

Tool #3: Creating a Relapse Prevention Plan

Recovery is not just about stopping a behaviour; it's about planning for a new way of living. A relapse prevention plan is a proactive strategy you create when you are calm and clear-headed, to help you navigate high-risk situations in the future.

Your Plan Should Include:

• Your High-Risk Situations: A list of the specific times, places, people, or feelings that trigger your urges. (This is where the HALT method—Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired—is useful).

• Your Coping Strategies: For each high-risk situation, write down a specific, healthy coping strategy you can use instead. (e.g., "If I feel lonely on a Friday night, I will call my friend instead of gaming").

• Your Support Network: A list of people you can call when you are struggling, including their phone numbers.

• A Reminder of Your "Why": Write down the top 3-5 reasons you want to change. What will a life free from this addiction give you?

An example:

Sarah's addiction was online shopping. Her biggest trigger was feeling bored and lonely on her lunch break at work. As part of her relapse prevention plan, she identified this as a high-risk situation. Her pre-planned coping strategy was to leave her desk and go for a walk while listening to a podcast. One Tuesday, the urge hit hard. Her permissive thought was "Just a quick look won't hurt, there's a huge sale, and it's better to make use of it." Instead, she looked at her plan, put in her headphones, and walked out the door. She "surfed the urge" as she walked, and by the time she got back to the office, the peak of the craving had passed. She had successfully used her tools.

(Please note: This is a fictional vignette created for illustrative purposes only.)

Learning new recovery skills is safer and more effective with an experienced guide to support you every step of the way.

Get an Expert to Help You Build Your Toolkit

Learning these skills on your own can be challenging. A therapist acts as a coach and a guide, helping you to identify which tools you need, teaching you how to use them effectively, and supporting you as you put them into practice in your daily life.

Contact us today on (03) 9969 2190 to start building your personalised recovery toolkit, or book an initial consultation online here: https://bit.ly/bookshawpsychology.