Understanding Behavioural Addictions: A Guide to Gaming, Pornography, and Finding Support in Melbourne

In our hyper-connected world, behaviours that were once simple hobbies or distractions can sometimes spiral into something more consuming. When an activity like gaming, browsing the internet, or viewing pornography shifts from a casual pastime to a compulsive need that you can't control, despite harmful consequences, you may be dealing with a behavioural addiction.

Unlike substance addictions, the "drug" here is not a chemical, but the rewarding feeling or escape provided by the behaviour itself. At Shaw Psychology, our Melbourne clinical psychologists, general psychologists, and counsellors understand the shame and secrecy that often surround these struggles and provide a confidential, evidence-based path to regaining control.

Everyday activities, hobbies, and foods can become a source of pain in our lives.

What Defines a Behavioural Addiction?

A behavioural addiction isn't just about spending a lot of time on an activity. It's a clinical issue defined by a pattern of behaviour with several key features:

• Loss of Control: You find yourself engaging in the behaviour for longer, or more intensely, than you intend to. You've tried to cut back or stop, but can't or frequently fail.

• Preoccupation: You spend a great deal of time thinking about the activity, planning when you can do it next, or recovering from its effects.

• Negative Consequences: The behaviour persists despite causing significant problems in various areas of your life, including relationships, work or university performance, finances, and physical health.

• Escape/Mood Modification: You use the behaviour to escape from or numb complicated feelings like stress, loneliness, anxiety, or depression.

• Tolerance & Withdrawal: You need to engage in the behaviour more and more to get the same rewarding feeling (tolerance), and you experience irritability, anxiety, or restlessness if you try to stop (withdrawal).

Common Behavioural Addictions We See in Melbourne

While many behaviours can become problematic, two of the most common issues we help clients with are:

1. Internet and Gaming Disorder: Officially recognised by the World Health Organisation, this involves a loss of control over gaming. The game takes precedence over all other life interests and daily activities. A person with Gaming Disorder will continue to game despite clear negative consequences, such as failing exams, losing a job, or the breakdown of relationships.

2. Problematic Pornography Use (Porn Addiction): This is characterised by a compulsive need to view pornography, which becomes difficult to control and causes significant personal distress. It can negatively impact real-life intimacy, create unrealistic sexual expectations, and consume vast amounts of time, often leading to feelings of deep shame.

A First Step You Can Take Today: Conducting a "Cost-Benefit Analysis"

A powerful skill from addiction recovery workbooks is to move beyond the immediate gratification and take an honest look at the actual impact of the behaviour.

1. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.

2. On the left side, list all the perceived "Benefits" or "Pros" of the behaviour. Be honest. What does it give you in the short term? (e.g., "It helps me de-stress," "It's exciting," "It helps me forget my problems," "It cures boredom").

3. On the right side, list all the "Costs" or "Cons." What has this behaviour cost you in the long run? (e.g., "I've lost sleep," "My partner feels distant," "My uni grades have dropped," "I feel ashamed afterwards," "It's cost me a lot of money").

4. Look at the two lists side-by-side. This simple, non-judgmental exercise can help increase your motivation for change by making the actual, long-term consequences impossible to ignore.

An example:

Liam, a 24-year-old IT professional in Melbourne, started using online gaming as a way to unwind after work. Over two years, "unwinding" turned into all-night sessions. He started calling in sick to work to play, his relationship with his partner became strained from his constant distraction, and he felt a deep sense of shame about how much his life now revolved around the game. He knew he needed to change, but felt powerless. The turning point was when he did a "Cost-Benefit Analysis" and realised the 'Cons' list was alarmingly long and serious, finally motivating him to seek professional help.

(Please note: This is a fictional vignette created for illustrative purposes only.)

Recovery often begins with a single, conscious choice to disengage from the compulsive behaviour and turn your attention back to the life you want to live.

How Therapy Can Help You Regain Control

Effective therapy for behavioural addictions doesn't rely on shaming or judgment. It's a practical, skills-based approach. At Shaw Psychology, our therapists use evidence-based models like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help you:

• Understand the function of the behaviour (what purpose is it serving?).

• Identify your personal triggers.

• Develop healthier coping strategies for managing difficult emotions.

• Address underlying issues like anxiety, depression, or trauma.

• Create a plan for building a more fulfilling and value-driven life.

Take the First Step Towards Freedom

If you feel that a behaviour has taken control of your life, please know that you are not alone and there is a clear path back. Reaching out for professional support is a sign of immense strength.

Contact us today on (03) 9969 2190, visit our website at www.shawpsychology.com to learn more, or book an initial consultation directly online here: https://bit.ly/bookshawpsychology.